Relationship Anxiety
Ready to take a personal look at your relationships?
Do you know that something must change in your relationship, but you can’t put your finger on it?
Are your worries about your relationship negatively impacting other parts of your life? Especially your self-esteem.
Do you find yourself clinging to professional achievements to help fill the void of what’s missing at home?
Are you ready to learn better communication skills so that you are no longer misunderstood?
Do you want to gain some clarity about your relationship before making your next move?
It feels like you always pick the wrong partner; you really want to break this pattern.
Relationships can be a source of great strength and satisfaction, but when they are a recurring struggle, they can lead to despair and helplessness. Often times, it can be difficult to pinpoint the exact reason or moment when your feelings shifted, yet you know that you’ve felt unfulfilled for a long time.
Sometimes you have been told my your partner/spouse to “go figure it out”, sending you the message that something is “wrong” with you. Other times, you simply are not yet ready to unpack all of your thoughts/feelings in front of your significant other — I get it! How can you articulate all of this when you don’t even quite know what the “THIS” is?
WHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP LEAVES YOU IN A STATE OF STRESS AND SELF-DOUBT
Most of my clients are high-achieving, driven, accomplished individuals who on the surface seem to have it all. What they don’t admit to others or themselves out loud is that something in their relationship feels disconnected. They will catch themselves reading articles about anxiety, depression or relationships trying to make sense and (of course!) solve this indescribable feeling. They are also masters at avoiding when the pressure feels too much — often poring themselves into their work, family needs/demands, maybe a few too many drinks, fantasizing about others, and if they are single, they’ll hop from one relationship to the next, never making it past the superficial connection…
Science confirms time and again that we are wired for connection; to be in secure, loving, relationships is an evolutionary imperative. And yet, most of us (at one time or another) struggle in adult romantic relationships once stress or tensions arise. Something in us gets activated, presenting as anxiety, unease, or acting out in ways that drive us away from the best versions of ourselves. We shift from blaming ourselves (“Ugh! Something’s wrong with me. I should be X, I should do Y! Why can’t I just be happy with what I have?!”) to blaming our romantic partners (“If only he/she wasn’t so…! Men/women are always… never… !) — back and forth we go.
You don’t have to struggle with relationship anxiety anymore! In individual relationship therapy you can identify what is missing in your life, gain awareness of your underlying core beliefs to move forward more empowered and open-hearted.
A healthy relationship starts with an authentic you
Individual relationship therapy is the primary way through which you can begin to channel the authentic you; that version of you that has been sealed off for good-reason, that part of you that deserves to shine in relationships.
Unlike seeing a therapist who works with an array of issues (you know, those that have 100 so-called specialties!), who often identify you as a problem that requires “fixing” or just giving you a bunch of sympathy talk that’s not moving the ball forward, I provide a specialized approach to individual therapy through a thoughtful and expert relational lense.
I view all of my individual clients as part of a “system” (a dynamic, if you will), which means I do not pathologize you as “the problem” or spend the whole hour letting just vent about your partner’s faults. Instead, because I have a true professional understanding of early attachment patterns and of modern romantic relationships expectations, I am able to reflect back to you the good reasons why you organize yourself in the way you do in relationships that deeply matter. I will help you gain insight into parts of yourself that you have disowned, buffering them with survival methods that have kept you disconnected from your whole self and others. Most importantly, I can help you create meaningful change in you and your relationship (if you are in one).
Having worked with countless individuals by providing them with genuine therapeutic guidance, a relational and somatic process, and a safe emotional space to explore, I am confident that you too will discover emotional intimacy without fear and anxiety.
COMMON OUTCOMES FROM INDIVIDUAL THERAPY:
Gaining clarity about what you want from your relationship or marriage.
Being accountable for your part when you are in disconnection.
Learning to be more present and mindful in your life in order to recognize and mitigate your negative defenses.
Learning effective communication skills in order to convey your desires in a way that they can be responded to.
Defining healthy boundaries, which allow for better engagement with your partner, as well as building your resiliency in relationship.
Whether you are disenchanted with your relationship, feeling lost or anxious about what to do next, burdened with self-doubt, I can help you work through this complicated and emotionally charged period to figure out what you really want.
Break-free from relationship anxiety and see what’s possible
Reclaim yourself with individual therapy
My extensive training and experiences working with couples and individuals who long to create more fulfilling relationships allow me to provide both a deep understanding of your individual pain while also keeping a birds-eye view on what makes meaningful relationships work. No matter where you are in your journey, individual relationship therapy can help you reclaim your voice and step forward authentically.
You may have some lingering questions…
Do you offer online therapy?
Yes I do! Online therapy, also known as telehealth, has become an essential source of receiving mental health and medical care. Luckily, we know that online therapy is just as effective as in-person sessions.
As I am licensed in New York and Connecticut, I offer my therapy services to countless clients across both States. These video or phone sessions are confidential, secure and tailored specifically for your needs.
For video session, the process is easy and doesn’t require any special arrangements. A few minutes before our session, you will receive a link to the video conferencing “waiting room” where we will meet for our therapy appointments. Find out more about secure telehealth counseling set up and FAQs.
How will anything change with my relationship if I’m the only one going to therapy?
As the saying goes, it takes two to tango. But change requires at least one of you to gain insight, self-awareness and take new steps to shift your relationship – what are your moves in the dance of disconnection? Where did they come from? What can you start doing differently? Even in couples therapy, it’s the small shifts in one partner’s sense of self and perceptions that begin to turn things around. So whether I am your first stop or an additional support while you’re in couples therapy elsewhere, you can shift how you are in relationship from the inside out.
I’ve been to therapy before (sort of!), how will this be any different?
Some of my clients have a little to a lot of experiences being in therapy. Whether they were dragged by their parents as a child, their spouse, or thought they’ll go a few times to “fix” a presenting issue, all have eventually left without lasting results. Perhaps you’ve done the talk therapy thing, or the ever so popular Cognitive Behavioral Therapy thing, or the venting to a therapist that didn’t say more than two words back to you thing, you may be approaching going (back) to therapy with considerable skepticism. I get it!
So let me be clear, I don’t do any of the above. My process is founded on the belief that our unique therapeutic relationship is healing, which means I am in this WITH you! I take a relational and growth focused lenses to working with individual clients. Working with me will be with a keen focus on why and how you show-up in relationships, connecting the mind and body to feel whole, which will all be processed in the here-and-now (in other words, it’s an experiential approach). My focus is to help you grow and clearly define who you are, authentically.
I’m afraid that if start talking about my relationship/marital unhappiness, it means my relationship is doomed.
When we are alone with your thoughts and feelings (without a trained specialist to help us sort through which are stories we tell ourselves and which are the heart of our pain), we can go down an intractable rabbit hole. Individual relationship therapy will provide you with the clarity you need and shed light on your inner longings, as well as the patterns from past relationships that have carried over into this one. Together we will clear a path of reclaiming your voice in relationships in order to feel truly content in them. That means, getting clear on what you are thinking, feeling and wants, as well as learning to stay centered in the face of adversity.
There’s no commitment, pressure, or obligation. You get to share with me a little bit about what you’re looking to work on and I can answer any questions you might have about my practice.
**Please note that I am private pay / out of network provider only**