Think about which one of your positive sexual experience elements you want to and can realistically explore together to find your way back to each other. it really all begins by being intentional and prioritizing what you want for your relationship.
When couples come for counseling, more often than not, sex or lack of sex or not enough sex comes up. Some variation of these come up because for one, I will ask about it, and also because it is such a hot topic, fraught with layers of vulnerabilities that it's unavoidable. These discussions about sexual intimacy in couples counseling always lead me to introduce the Dual Control Model (DCM), as brilliantly summarized by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. in her book "Come As You Are."